Would a Computer Dating Site Select Your Spouse?

My daughter has used dating sites on occasion. On one site, it provides a comprehensive questionnaire of approximately 400 questions. When she told me about this, my first thought was, “No computer would select my husband as a potential mate for me.”

So, I did a quick, informal survey of my friends and all of the wives agreed that a computer wouldn’t have put them together with their spouse. Yet, all of these marriages are relatively long term (over 10 years) and from my perspective, reasonably happy.

I can guess at the questions a computer would ask that would help select the perfect mate. Most would have to do with compatibility. Do you like the same things? Are you similar in your values? And so on…

In the end, I went to a book written by Janet Woititz called Struggle for Intimacy. She writes that a healthy relationship has six primary components:

1. I can be me

2. You can be you

3. We can be us

4. I can grow

5. You can grow

6. We can grow together

My husband and I share a few things. Home is very important to us. Family is also central, but we want to have space between our family and us. We love to travel. But, in the end, we support each other, regardless. Period. No matter what I do, I know he has my back. I hope he feels the same way.

 

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